This weekend at the cottage, we played the most sexist game ever. It’s a board came called “The Gender Gap” and the very premise of it sets gender theory back about 50 years. Men have to answer stereotypically woman-related questions, and women have to answer stereotypically manly-man questions. I find just reading the question categories infuriating. The questions for the woman team come from such foreign-to-women categories as “Sports,” “Home Improvement,” and “Automotive.” The female categories that the men have to choose from include “Fashion/Home Design,” “Cooking/Entertainment,” “Family/Health.” Really board game? “Family” is in the “women only” category? Only women know about families? But the game answers to no one. You really just have to shut up and play.
The questions are not even the most offensive set of cards in the game. There are mind-numbingly sexist wild cards. A sampling:
It’s his turn to drive her car again because the gas gauge is just below “E.” Women move back one space!
He worked in the yard until five minutes before the guests were to arrive. Men move back one space!
She attended her son’s soccer game and her daughter’s horse show on the same day! Women move ahead two spaces!
That last one is a staggering lasagna of layered sexism. Not only does only mom attend her children’s extracurricular activities, but each child is doing an activity that perfectly fits stereotypical gender roles. Well played, board game.
But suddenly, the game started to make sense. It could have been the afternoon cottage beers that did it, but after three menstruation-themed questions aimed at the men, and three VCR-related questions aimed at the women, we started to see a pattern. These weren’t generalizations. They were the result of a very specific experience. We slowly began to realize that the entire board game was the result of one man who didn’t understand the break-up he was going through.
The questions got so pointed that we started to even see their names. Jeff and Sherry. Each question laid a brick in the slowly crumbling marriage of Jeff and Sherry. Each question brought the fading wedding picture of Jeff and Sherry more clearly into focus.
“A videotape left on top of a TV can be erased when the TV is turned on due to the TV’s magnetic field. True or False”
The answer is true, Sherry. Remember that time you left my tape of the game on the TV so you could do your aerobics video in the morning? The whole game got erased. So you should know the answer to this one, Sherry. You should.
“When a woman becomes pregnant, she should consume how many additional calories per day?”
Sherry, I never said you were fat. All I meant was three cheesecakes seems like a lot. I’m happy to get you whatever you want, and I read in the article you showed me that you’re going to have cravings, but it just seems like…it just seems like three cheesecakes…three cheesecakes seems like a lot.
What do women fear most? A) that they won’t have enough money to retire, B) the death of their husband, C) the death of a child D) that their husband will lose his job.
I know you love the children more than you love me, Sherry.
Everyone saw it coming. Except for Jeff. Jeff is blindsided. Distraught. He can’t find a way to process the fact that Sherry just left him.
He talks to his friends. They are understanding at first. It’s natural for Jeff to be angry. But soon, his emotional demands become too great. They give him the infuriating answer that they can see both sides of the story. That they were friends with Sherry, too. Their kids play together, they go to the same soccer games, the same horse shows.
No one understands. They’re all traitors. This is a clear case of good against bad, right against wrong. All Jeff can think to do to clear his head is to write the truth he knows. It’s all a game to them anyway. That’s it! I’ll create a board game! He thinks. About the way things are. The truth. And it will set him free.
“Did you hear that, Sherry? Did anybody tell you? They’re going to make my game. Who’s a loser now, Sherry?! Sherry? Pick up the phone Sherry…”
